Texas Parenting News
Telling family stories

Many parents read stories to their children at bedtime. But it can be just as much fun and even more powerful to tell stories.
You can make up stories, or you can tell real stories about your family. Real stories help children understand who they are and where they came from. They help develop a sense of family history and culture and build self-esteem.

Selecting stories to tell
Match the story to your child’s level of understanding. For toddlers and 2-year-olds, keep stories short and talk about familiar things, such as pets, clothing, and food. Plots are not important. You can simply describe something, like the apron Grandma always wore.
For children 3 to 5 years old, you can tell stories about a broader range of family members, animals, houses, and holidays. Stories about your child’s babyhood can be especially appealing. Pull out old baby clothes and photos to show how much your child has grown.
For school-age children, tell the favorite stories that are told and retold at family gatherings. For example, you might tell how Great-Grandpa, as a child, nearly burned down the barn while trying to smoke out a rabbit.
Some of the most interesting stories fall into these categories:
childhood misadventures. Tell how Mom whacked her mother’s favorite rose bush while trying out the garden shears, or how Uncle John fell out of the tree and broke his arm. Knowing that grown-ups sometimes misbehaved can help children feel more human and less worried about their own accidents and mistakes.
courting. Describe how Mom and Dad first met, or how Uncle Tim proposed to Aunt Alice at the top of a Ferris wheel. Hearing such tales helps children learn about changing times and gain insight into love and friendship.
eccentrics. Every family has members who seem a little odd, like Aunt Bee who married her sixth husband at age 84. These stories add adventure and humor to otherwise ordinary lives. They also help build appreciation for differences.
misfortune. Stories about how the family house was flooded when a river overran its banks or how Uncle Benito was wounded in Viet Nam can help children prepare for the difficulties they will encounter in life.
strange events. Some happenings defy explanation. Hearing about how Cousin Rashad avoided a plane that crashed or the pet that mysteriously showed up at the door can fill children with wonder and awe.

Collecting family stories
If you need help remembering stories, talk to other family members. Ask older ones to tell you their life stories. Go through family albums, scrapbooks, and letters. Ask for the stories behind antiques and heirlooms.
Return to the house where you grew up. Seeing the old garage or oak tree may trigger memories. Drive by the schools you attended and the houses of childhood friends. Take photos and write notes.
When talking to family members or recalling your own memories, use your senses. Remember smells, tastes, sounds, textures, temperatures, and scenes. The topics below may help you recall stories:
people. Draw your family tree as far back as you can. Write down memories or stories you have heard about each person.
places. Think about houses, schools, churches, and vacation spots. Visualize going to sleep in your bedroom or picnicking at the cemetery.
objects. Recall favorite toys, musical instruments, dishes, cars, and clothing from your childhood.
events. Holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals, and other occasions provide ample material for stories.

Telling stories
When telling a story, speak naturally as if you were talking about something that happened yesterday. Use gestures and facial expressions for emphasis.
Bedtime is a traditional time for telling stories, but you can also tell them at other times. Take a few minutes at mealtime or while driving to and from school. Tell a story while waiting in line at the grocery store (it will help distract children from the candy and toys). At the next family gathering or birthday, tell a story you remember or ask another family member to share.
You may find that children will ask you to tell a story over and over again. This means they enjoy it. Don’t be surprised if you tell it a slightly different way every time, or if your version differs from another family member’s. Stories change with telling and vary by point of view.
Family stories are not just entertaining. They help us learn about ourselves and give meaning to our lives.